NLP: Can You Do Too Much?

Nirvanos asks author David Portney if there's such a thing as doing "too much NLP":

Nirvanos: In your book you give some powerful NLP-type exercises that get into making it much, much easier for guys, and beautiful part about how you go about teaching this is that you don’t just leave it at the “outside stuff”.

In other words, you don’t just take up approaching and break it down the smallest components, giving guys a map of how to step-by-step get to approaching mastery.

Now, there’s another balancing problem here. Just as there are guys taking the “outside actions” part too far: There are guys taking the NLP part too far.

They stay at home visualizing making the perfect approaching, and re-framing beliefs and doing magical circle exercises for 4 hours a day. Yet they don’t go out and try approach women with that new re-framed belief or added confidence at all.

So they can get stuck in the “NLP extreme” of the pendulum. How do you think one can find the balance? Where and how much does NLP come into the equation?

David Portney: Defining the balance point between doing too much inner work and too much outer work has to do with hitting the target you set out to hit. If you do inner work and find that when you’re out in the world you respond in ways that you like more than your previous ways of being, that’s a good indication.

Also, it’s worth mentioning that while I do advocate a blend and balance of inner and outer work, it’s also true that some guys will respond more to “physical” activities, while other guys respond more to “mental” tasks.

I pretty much insist that guys do both, and not just what they like better or find more comfortable because often the “lesser liked” “less comfortable” things are exactly where the most personal development and transformation will come from.

Also, you’ll notice that I do not mention the term “NLP” anywhere in my book or other products. I have injected a lot of what I’ve learned from NLP for sure, but I’ve also learned a lot from business, Martial Arts, and other life endeavors that directly relate to getting the results guys want to get when it comes to increasing confidence, meeting women, etc.

Nirvanos: So, there are differences and some guys need more or less of one or the other, but the rule of thumb is “if you’re only doing one, you’re probably just avoiding the thing you need to do”?

David Portney: Generally speaking, yes: most people don’t consciously choose the “harder path” - most people take the path of least resistance.

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