Part VI: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

Part VI: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

If you're golfing, bowling, or doing Judo, technique is going to be a key component to your success.

However - meeting, dating, and seducing beautiful women - or any women - is less about technique and more about attitude. Heck, it's all about your attitude!

You could have the most magical *technique* in the world, the best pick up line ever invented, and can completely blow it because of your attitude, lack of confidence, or your obvious nervousness. It's really just that simple. Guys with zero *technique* but attitude a mile wide and confidence to the end of time attract women like bees to honey!

So as you evaluate how your meeting went, don't focus on the "what". It's not about technique. Evaluate your attitude only.

See you tomorrow, unless you're napping from too much Thanksgiving eating!
David

Part V: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

Part V: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

After you've gone on your coffee meeting, you need to evaluate how well you hit your target of exuding super confidence when you were with her.

Important: this is not a "beat yourself up session!" You're going to have to take a step back from yourself and be an objective reporter about how things went.

Making an honest assessment means that you'll be able to identify where things went the way you planned and why, and where things did NOT go according to plan and why.

Take some time to set back with a drink, and with paper and pen, and write down all your objective reporting.

Do that, and then I'll see you tomorrow!
David

Part IV: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

Part IV: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

When you go on your coffee meeting (notice I don't call it a date: this is not a date, this is nothing more than a meeting where you have a specific agenda) the hardest thing will be for you to maintain your focus.

You have to avoid the temptation to get lost in your usual way of behaving on "a date". Remember, this is not a date. Forget about trying to impress her, or trying to be entertaining, or trying to be anything. Your sole mission is simply to exude confidence, and that's it.

You may need to use my "hero process" which we've talked about before and which I've outlined in detail in my book "Super Confidence With Women". If you have "issues" that need clearing up, then you really should get that book.

But you don't need the book to do this coffee meeting, you just need to sit there and exude confidence. Consider this as the most unimportant meeting of your life, nothing here matters except focusing on exuding confidence. All other considerations just do not matter.

See you tomorrow!
David

Part III: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

Part III: Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

So far you've joined some free dating websites, lined up a "safe" coffee meeting, and you've been doing your mental rehearsal.

Next step is execution: go on the date. But, the entire time, you must stay focused on your goal of exuding confidence. Just like you rehearsed it (mentally) you want to sit in a confident way. Make your face confident. Even your gestures are confident. Certainly your voice and the way you speak is confident.

Don't worry about conversation. Seriously. "What should I say??" is not part of this. The only, only thing that should be a constant is your focus on being confident and exuding confidence. Don't get sidetracked, this is your only focus for this meeting.

Now, go meet her.

See you tomorrow!
David

Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

I have to emphasize that last step; it's vital that you set your goal clear in your mind. If you're not clear, go back and read yesterday's post.

Now, with your goal clear in mind, you're going to do what every star MMA fighter, baseball player, basketball star, hockey player, etc. does to be a star: they mentally prepare. In fact, this is something that star athletes have been doing for years: visualizing exactly what they will do, and visualizing themselves as successful. This is called "mental rehearsal".

So your next step, just so you're 100% clear, is to take your goal, and visualize yourself doing it successfully. using mental rehearsal. Do Not allow yourself to see yourself as nervous, not confident, anxious or anything other than completely calm, cool, collected and confident.

Run a movie in your mind over and over of you showing up confident, interacting with her confident, ending the coffee date confident - total confidence all the way through from beginning to end. Rehearse it until that movie plays almost automatically.

Next step tomorrow, see you then.
David

Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

Using Online Dating Websites to Conquer Shyness, Fear of Rejection Around Women:

Here's a quick and easy (and free!) way to help you to "tune up your confidence guitar strings".

Step 1:

Join a few of those online dating websites. Join the free ones, or get a 30 or 90 day free trial. Reply to some women's profiles who are local - pick women you do not find particularly attractive, but are not necessarily repulsive either.

Send emails to all of them that references something about their profile, that way you don't look like you're sending a copy-and-paste mass email. Ask them to meet you at a local coffee shop after work or during the day on a weekend, just to have some conversation and a few laughs.

Tune in tomorrow for Step 2 - see you then!
David