How to Get a Girl to Like You -
What The Pick Up Artist Doesn't Want You To Know

Nirvanos: Now let's get this up to where it matters for a lot of our readers. See, you tend to focus more on a healthier type of approach to dating. What are some of the main problems you see coming from the "pick up" and "seduction" focused types of communities.

David Portney:The "pick up" and "seduction" groups are doing 2 things:

1. they promise the "magic bullet" solution that we all want, and

2. it gives guys the "solution focus" which matches our mentality.

First, there is no magic bullet, but that's what we want. We want to get rich quick. We want weight loss in a pill. And, we want perfect pick up lines and seduction techniques.

Second, when guys encounter a problem, we respond with our natural "fix it" mentality - so the problem is: "how to approach / pick up / seduce women" so we want a solution to the problem.

The pick up and seduction people offer the magic bullet, and they offer the solution-based mentality - "here's the answer to your problem, just do this" but I think my approach is more holistic: with my approach, guys will find that they're more in control of many parts of their lives, not just able to "pick up chicks".

My strategies get guys out of the passenger seat and put guys in the driver's seat of their life. In other words, it's not about a "simple solution" but a complete revamping and reorganizing of a guy's internal reality which produces a better person all around, and not just a pick up / seduction machine with canned lines and canned approaches and canned techniques.

Also, I teach guys how to discover what they WON'T put up with and DON'T want in women so that they don't just get led around by their crotches, turn into wimpy wussies, or have their dreams killed.

Nirvanos: Yes, You're right, and it's funny how a lot of these seduction type "gurus" tend to say "well you have to sell to the quick-fix mentality and offer the magic bullet first"… then you can tell them about the real work. The reason why I respect you. Is that you never made that rationalization. You tell people up-front about the work involved in this.

David Portney:That's right. And I call it an "inside-out" approach: that means it's not enough to just go out and jump into the deep end of the pool and try to "sink or swim" so when it comes to going out into the real world, I start guys off really slow with that with easy to accomplish tasks. But before we even get to that, we do the inside work, we "tune up the car" before we take it on the road.

For example , in my book Super Confidence With Women in part 2, that's where we work on the limiting beliefs, the conflicting values, the negative emotions, and the other "internal stuff" that needs transforming before we "hit the road".

And no - there are no magic lines, and all the "law of attraction" stuff… don't even get me started with sitting around visualizing, but never taking action! Tell that to Bill Gates, Thomas Edison, Tiger Woods, or your local plumber for that matter!

Visualizing clearly what you want is great, but you've got to make the "rubber hit the road" if you want to get anywhere in life.

Here's how to move far beyond lame pick-up strategies: